I must be honest-- I'm really starting this blog to satisfy my own selfish ends. As each new year comes around, I vaguely think about how I need to write more, chronicle more, journal more, document more. I am blessed with a wonderful memory for some things, and cursed with a terrible memory when it comes to the wonderful, silly details of my own life.
I am not going to put any undue pressure on myself to write a certain amount, at a certain frequency, etc. (I've had enough of that in school, thank you very much). Still, now this little blog exists, a little corner in which I can leave my thoughts, and come revisit them whenever I like.
I'm still not sure exactly what I'm going to write here... I feel like the personality of this blog will evolve naturally as time goes on. My main goal is to allow myself a little time for reflection, creativity, and communication (to myself and others) about my life. That's it. We'll see what shape it ends up taking.
Thoughts about the new year
I am very excited about this new year in front of us-- fresh, fragile, full of promise. I won't hesitate in saying 2009 was one of the most challenging years of my life thus far. In very, very brief summary: I graduated college at the end of 2008, worked, worked, worked, was turned down for nursing school, worked some more, moved to northern Oregon, went on a fabulous vacation to Alaska/Canada with my boyfriend Ben (what an amazing time!), spent about six weeks in St. Louis with my older sister Aimee and brother-in-law Robert as nanny to my fantastic niece and nephew (by far one of the highlights of the year-- I love my family!), spent months searching for a job in Portland (low point, for sure), finally found a *temporary* job @ Starbucks, moved to Gresham, OR with Ben, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, done.
So, in short, lots of challenges. But not the "easy" challenges, where the task is clear and straightforward, and all you have to do is put in a good, honest effort and everything turns out rosy. No, I got a hard dose of reality this year-- hard work doesn't always guarantee the expected outcome. Lots of things, like searching for a job, depend heavily on luck. Lots of trying to get on, and stay on, my feet this year. Lots of "pulling myself up by my bootstraps" (sounds hard, doesn't it?).
But, I realize, these experiences are life! As difficult as this past year has seemed, I am a very fortunate and blessed individual with a loving, supportive boyfriend, family, and friends. I have learned a lot from 2009, feel I am growing as an individual, and above all I am excited to move past the negative and focus on the positive-- a brand new year.
It is difficult to love yourself, and at the same time be willing to work toward change in yourself. This is a balance I want to find this year. This is my *simple* goal for the new year. I want to be relentlessly, annoyingly POSITIVE** this year, and find joy, love, humor, opportunity, and happiness everywhere I can.
I feel the possibilities this young year holds, and I can't wait.
**within reason. ;)
